If You Can Grow Tomatoes You Can Grow Weed

Once upon a time, I believed gardening was for doddery old men who wore cardigans with holes in the pockets, and drank tea laced with whisky while dead-heading the roses. Beyond your common-or-garden varieties such as lilies and carnations, I knew little of the world of flowers, and even less of why bother grow and tend to them.

Then, about five years ago, I bought some potted hibiscus, a small lemon tree, and mint, and between them they brought colour and life to my unloved patio. Taking care of them turned out to be the perfect stoner past-time, quiet, tactile, holistic. Plus, the relationship is reciprocal; if they’re in good shape, so am I.

The leap to marijuana, a plant that’s been in my life for more than two decades, was unplanned, but natural. A friend gave me some seeds. I germinated them. One survived, and grew into a rather pathetic specimen that was a robust smoke. Year two, two plants survived, one growing slightly larger than the other, but both producing a mellow buzz that hummed for hours. Year three, and I started to get creative.

As well as expanding the potted plants in my patio to include aloe, basil, curry and a San Pedro cactus, I germinated six seeds. During the following summer, two beautiful baby Lemon Haze got eaten by starlings; a complaining neighbour cost me two stunning Indicas, and I had to execute a midnight run in a borrowed van to save two others. I managed to harvest about half a pound, half of which I used to pay my helpers, but I had enough to start baking, all that mattered to me.

Taking care of marijuana plants demands discipline and commitment because the challenges come thick and fast. As well as the usual bugs and pests, there are nosey-parks and thieves and the law to look out for. But once you commit to the task, when you grow weed it’s therapy, a connection to the earth like no other, and a unique insight into nature.

More than anything, gardening teaches patience, and herb is no exception. Like all plants, she has her rhythms and it’s up to you to figure them out. My advice: start small, start with tomatoes. They’re sturdy, smell amazing, and as long as you give them lots of water, and a decent amount of sun, they’ll give you juicy fruit. The above photo is of the tomato plant on my patio.

Don’t think you need fancy equipment. You just need earth, a pot and the right time of year. Need more tips? Don’t worry. Watch this space. Over the coming months, I’ll be filling these pages with lots of tips on growing and cooking, along with recipes and health tips for hashheads like me.

I no longer believe gardening is just for doddery old men, or perhaps I enjoy thinking of myself as doddery, pottering around my patio, fingernails caked in clay, and joint hanging from my mouth, as a re-pot the babies, I mean, plants.

#followtheplant #girlsgrowtoo #homegrow

“If we surrendered to earth’s intelligence, we could rise up rooted, like trees.” Rainer Maria Rilke

 

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